That Gem Corner: He says I'm to Ambitious. What should I do?

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First I know I'm behind on a few emails.  Diamonds and Gents asking for videos and blog post wanting my opinion.  So That Gem Corner will be up back and full affect.  If you are not familiar with it.  It is a way to ask for my advice.  By clicking that picture right on the side and leaving me a message.  Or emailing me directly at  Come on out your corner worrying!  And let me bring you to That Gem Corner.

Hey Tra,

Hey Lady I ran across your video talking to a young lady. She was getting taken advantage of by her family.  I love how you were up front with her.  I like that!

So here goes I've been dating this guy for 6 mths. girl, he is such a nice guy.  He owns his own business and  his business is kind of slow right now because he has sickle cell.  So he can't work like he normally does.  Anyway, I own a beauty shop and now I'm looking into selling hair extension.  This venture has taken up so much of my time.  However, he was pretty understanding about that.  Until, I couldn't do for him like I normally do.  I also have a son, and he is 15 turning 16 in November.  I feel I need to hit the iron while it's hot.  He knew I was ambitious when we met.  And yet he still wanted to date me.  Now, he's talking marriage and want to hold out on me.  So I had to tell him my ex-husband as to approve of it.  Because, of our son having to live in the same home with him.  So instead of continuing to talk about marriage.  He now says I'm to ambitious anyway.  I won't cater to him like he needs.  And a woman needs to stay in her place.  What's is a girl to do?

Ambitious in the NYC

Dear Ambitious in the NYC,

Hello my Diamond sistah! Girl, first big ups and congratulations on your business venture.  That is a hot business to get into right now.  So stick with that you are on the right track.  But, lady he is not concerned about your ambition. That man shut down girl.  Because, you told him he needs to get another man's permission in so many words, to marry you.  Time out that is not your father.  Now, I'm not saying you are wrong because, you do have a that man's son.  However, that last part about staying in your place and catering to him sounds suspect.

He lashed out by saying that last part. You were pursuing that when y'all met.  He was down! Now he not, naw boo, boo.  He agreed to it in the beginning.  He knew what he signed up for.  He just is bothered by, that permission of the ex-husband.  That is what is bothering him.  He lashed out on you.  Now, you have one of two choices wait to your son is 18 and gone off to college before you date.  Or you can talk to your ex-husband yourself.  Have a cook out.  Invite both your new man and ex-husband.  Then, let men do what they do.  Trust your new man that he can hold his own. 

Let them men drink their beer and talk like men.  They can hash it out if he can and will have a relationship with you'll son.  But, if that isn't a option. then one is better.  At the end of the day, you need a man that can understand your grind. If he can't understand it then the counterfeit always comes before the blessing.  Another man will come along in couple of years that will be right fit for you.  But, if he is worth it. Then, find a way to fix it with him.

Wish you well boo,
Ms. Tra` "That Gem"


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